I worked way too long on this joke and I’m sorry

My undies got lil Chinese food boxes and fortune cookies on them because this ass is a snack

THIS IS THE NYPD!!!!!! GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DONT BOOST MY BIRTHDAY TOOT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW I DONT KNOW WHAT ILL BE FORCED TO DO

LOOK UPON MY GOOD TAKE. READ IT AND ABSORB MY GENIUS INTO YOUR PATHETIC MIND

If you fave my lewds we’re dating* **

* applies to girls n enbies only
** yes I know I’ve done this joke before but I feel like it didn’t get the attention it deserved

I wanna go on someone’s podcast and just spew my bullshit audibly

@bitchphomet @JohnBrownJr @DMX I Hate This. Have They Invented A Memory Erasure Machine Yet?

@DMX @bitchphomet *to the tune of the three's company theme song* cum nogg on our door

it's not follow friday but new years defies every rule so here's My First #FF In A Long Time:

@jzs42069 - jer is the original good boy

@Jacki - is very nice to me

@Torie - she've cute

@realtoddhoward - DON'T FOLLOW THEM!!!

@dirt - let's be real she's the perfect e-girl

@swirlz - like a cool teen and a cool scientist rolled into one

@garfiald - incredibly funny but also smart

@bitchphomet - my first online friend ever, now on mastodon

@toilet - sleeper hit

@spookcentral - the original power user

boost this toot and i’ll tell you who you are on the smash bros roster

they call him knuckles because he loves to fist

Lying like an absolute fucking scumbag to the cashier by saying I'm "doing fine"

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Church of the Nutt Godd

The church of the Nutt Godd.