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don’t follow me if we’ve never been mufos or if you have less than 50 posts. i’m old and very sleepy, not enough energy to research whether you suck

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Pinned toot

i wanna be a super villain with the super power of having raspberries covering my fingertips at all times

people always ask me "where did you get this amazing ass" and the truth is, i got it handed to me

sad pet stuff 

some people get their political beliefs from reading books, or observing society, but all of my beliefs come from the song Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

being the first one on the train is epic it means you control the train and decide where it goes

i have never seen an entire art form age as poorly as stand up comedy


if u need to send a beat to someone and they havent paid yet dont watermark it. just record yourself going "yah. aye. swag" over the entire song

Scully tries to disprove alien mutations. Smoking Man just, you know, smokes a bunch.

@JohnBrownJr because the bot can't appreciate the warm human embrace of the fave

i always fave bot posts that make me laugh, if u dont u should really be asking yourself why not?

i fell asleep to this movie last night before i even got a chance to say "whoa! that's fairuza balk!" ... smh

i need you, my draft pick, to start juicing. keep those posts up. get whatever kinda faves possible. pity faves, dm read message fave, song lyric fave. just get it done

I’ve ruined delicious meals for myself by associating the once good meal with washing a nasty gross pot that i was too fucked up and lazy to wash out for a week

Picking the right outfit to thot it up for my therapist

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Church of the Nutt Godd

The church of the Nutt Godd.